Oftentimes, people wonder how you could hide something from your spouse. We see this a lot in porn addiction – one spouse is addicted to watching porn and their spouse may never even know. When it comes out, the spouse might even feel saddened by the fact that they didn’t just talk to them. And furthermore, they might even question why they didn’t just talk to them and ask for help. But, it isn’t always that easy.
Despite the amount of love you have for a person and how comfortable you are with them, there can still be that one thing – or a few things – you really just have a hard time talking to them about. It might be because you are embarrassed, or you don’t want to disappoint them, or you just aren’t sure how to talk to them about it.
And the cold, hard truth is that those who struggle with alcohol addiction are no different and often find themselves in this same situation. One spouse might suffer from an alcohol addiction that they have still been able to keep a secret up to this point. However, there can be some beauty in sharing this with your spouse.
Why share it with them?
First of all, you get the relief of knowing you are no longer hiding it. No more hoping they don’t check your credit card and see how many times you’ve been to the liquor store. No more hoping they don’t smell it on your breath when you come home at night.
Second, they might be able to really offer some help. Even if they don’t know how to help you overcome the addiction, they can help you find the resources you need. Additionally, they can act as your support system. And you will need their support the most.
But, despite the positive, that still might not make talking to them any easier. So, here are a few tips for how to talk to them about it:
Tips for Talking to Your Spouse About Addiction
- Start by thinking about what you want to say.
Of course, you don’t want to script it out and you want a natural conversation to take place, but it can be beneficial to consider all the main points you want to hit.
- Set aside time.
The last thing you want to do is spring such a serious conversation on them without any planning. Ask if you two can go grab coffee or even just snag some alone time to talk outside on the porch. Find time to get in a comfortable, quiet setting.
- Prepare for the worst.
You would like to think your spouse won’t freak out or react strongly at all. But in all reality, they likely will. Mentally prepare yourself that they might get sad and cry, they might be angry, and/or they might be confused.
Do you have any other tips? Share them with us and others in the comments.